Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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