So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize