do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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