Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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