I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize