never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need a beard to bite.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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