Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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