Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
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if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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