Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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