Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize