Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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