Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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