i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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