I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
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Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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