3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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