Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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