Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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