I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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