Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
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Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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