Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize