Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize