I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize