glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
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We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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