My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize