I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize