and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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