So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize