There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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