yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize