I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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