how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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