I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
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I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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