He uses pillows to masturbate.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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