Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize