So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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