haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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