I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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