Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize