Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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