i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize