Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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