Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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