Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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