champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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