I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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