You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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