I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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