Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize