I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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