Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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